I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So many bounce houses so little time
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
