I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
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