:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
