I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
