Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
