I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
