the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
