If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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