I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
