the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
