Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
