he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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