hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
