In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just blew my weed a kiss
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
