Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
