Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
