Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He shit in the fireplace
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