His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I am available for nakedness
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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