she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
