If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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