i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
