dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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