lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You're my little dorito
I think I am morally bankrupt
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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