i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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