we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
she smelled like a LAN party
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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