Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
