That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I need moral support for this bender
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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