I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
