My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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