I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
