i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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