She went from zero to smokin in five shots
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
