Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize