I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
