so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
false alarm, still single
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