take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
