They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
