Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
