Do you still have your period?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I don't deserve a penis
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
