No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
