I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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