I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
