Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
