He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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