I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
