Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
