Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
