I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Two words: nipple clamps
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