I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he shaved USA in his pubs
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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