I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He felt like a one man threesome
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
