can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
