My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
