I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
