I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
