Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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