physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
